Are you tired of being singled out because of your boyish looks? Do people think you’re the weedy one when you hang out with your mates? Do you suspect people don’t take you seriously because you’re not manly enough?
Don’t give yourself such a hard time about it, this is something that a lot of guys can relate to. Unless you are naturally built like a beast, you’re bound to think about this at some point, especially if you’re a very young man – you might not even have finished growing yet.
There are good reasons that men want to look more manly. A rugged and stronger look send signals to others which translate into messages such as “this is a man, he can get things done, he can win fights, he can provide, we can rely on him”. It doesn’t matter whether these messages are true or not, they get through on a subconscious level because most people you meet are not consciously asking themselves “can this guy win fights?” when they say hi for the first time.
The essence of masculinity is physical power, which is usually indicated by size. It’s no secret that tall, muscular guys find it a lot easier to get well-paid jobs and find sexual partners than short, skinny guys. That doesn’t mean that short guys can’t be masculine (try telling that to Mike Tyson) – but they do have to put in a bit more work. Perhaps the most difficult task belongs to skinny guys, whether tall or short. Being skinny tells everyone ‘this guy has no bulk, he’ll fall like a flower petal at the slightest challenge’. You have to build muscle and give your body some shape. Swimming can be great for broadening your shoulders and these rowers on the Home Rower site will help you to get toned, build muscle and strengthen your core. It’s the big chest and arm muscles that impress the most though – you’ll have to eat enough to build them up and don’t neglect your thighs and calves as you’ll just end up looking stupid.
Some guys just work out with weights and let their bellies grow. These guys look strong, but their bellies send the message that they are most likely lazy and greedy – unappealing characteristics in a traditional male role.
When it comes to hair, the general rule is that more is better. Boys have hardly any body or facial hair, but boys are children and they’re not supposed to be accomplished hunter-gatherers just yet. There is no doubt that boyish faces and faces with weak chins and poor definition look much stronger with a beard and moustache. Head hair is a matter of debate, but short hair gives the impression of being more practical. Military-style buzzcuts and skinheads suggest that the person is primed to fight. Clipped or no hair can’t be grabbed in combat.
After having dealt with your physical appearance, you may now need to look at your clothes. These can vary greatly from culture to culture, but one thing is constant – a man who looks like he is ready to work, hunt, run and kill right now is more manly than a guy in immaculate and delicate clothes.
Some features that you’ll likely find impossible to change are the size of your hands – you can make them thicker and stronger but the fingers aren’t going to get longer. Obviously bigger hands are more manly. The other one is your Adam’s apple. This is another indicator of manliness, as is the deep voice that goes with it. The great news is that you can train yourself to speak with a deeper voice. If you currently speak with a kind of whimper, you’re basically telling people that you’re a wuss with every word you say. Use your mouth muscles to the max to define your words, speak from the diaphragm rather than the throat and don’t be shy to hear your voice booming out in a small room. When your voice can be heard above others’, it says to people “I am the alpha male and you’d better get used to it. I am in command”.